I shall update you on the Blaze Camp trip when I get all the photos from my lecturer. As of now I just feel like pouring my hearts out, my feelings... I`ve been feeling quite not myself at all this year, I know most of you won`t even understand what I`m gonna say but just bear with me? First off, I feel like the ones that I think that`s close to me has been drifting apart from me. I just felt like this piece of me is missing, that need of relying onto someone is just not there. You know how when you feel troubled and wanting to lie onto someone shoulders and ask for help? Yeah that`s what I feel like these days. I don`t know, maybe it`s just me over-thinking. 

All my life, I`ve been trying so hard to trust people and let people who "cared" about me into my life but I didn`t know it would be this hard. Not to mention I have a deep history about trusting people. Don`t get me wrong, I`ve met quite an awesome people in my school and whenever I`m with them I feel like I have no worries at all. But of course, things changed to the point that I have doubts in people till now. These problem is like a "come and go" kind of thing, where sometimes its gone but then the next day it`ll come back. 

Gosh it`s quite confusing haha even to me when I`m typing this I`m actually quite confused. Why do I feel like I can`t depend on other people? Not even my close ones. Maybe I have not met the right people? Jeez I`m over-thinking huh? This feelings of mine is just all over the place right now and I don`t even think that I`m able to sort it out. I feel so lost, so lost that I don`t even think I can get back up or even scream for help. Maybe I should just ignore it? I don`t know, what do you think?